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The Folly of Purist Trekkies

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Here's a story of two idiots, thirty years apart:

1979: "The new movie is an embarrassment. It's just Star Wars with a Trek label slapped on, and it breaks canon all over the place. If you think that's real Star Trek, you're wrong."

2009: "Abramstrek is just Star Wars with a Trek label slapped on, and it breaks canon all over the place. If you think that's real Star Trek, you're wrong."


See what I mean?

There was a time when I was hanged out with the wrong crowd. I only wish I had realized that sooner. But over the years, I've gained a lot of experience in dealing with shall we say, the "hardcore eccentrics" of the Star Trek fandom. These folks often refer to themselves as "purists" and they have a skewed fundamental view on their favorite subject. There are lots of them out there, and many came out of the closet roughly the same time 09' Trek came out.

You'll know a typical purist fanboy when they open their big mouths:
- TOS is the only true and REAL definition of Star Trek. PERIOD. (Because they haven't been watching anything else in their basement.)
- All the other spinoffs were derivative hogwash: TNG is soft-ass shit, DS9 is a damp gas station, VOY is a lost cause. (It appears that they were all disrespectful to Kirk or something. Purists are naturally against any form of progress you know.)
- Please don't even get them started on ENT! Even more so with the new AR films!!! (You'll be opening 10,000 can of worms with all that canon-violation bullshit. That really twists their panties, and then some.)
- The 70's era Star Trek Phase II should have been produced. (Because everything related to TOS is allegedly sacred and what not.)
- Picard was a pansy. (Purists have a way of glorifying Jim Kirk to Norris type levels.)
- You could have feasibly transferred all the TOS designs to the big screen with NO alterations for STXI. (OH YEAH! Because a starship that looks like a cheap plastic toy is absolutely marketable these days.)
- JJ Abrams and anything related to him will be shit. (This is repeated ad nauseam, and they will constantly remind YOU in forums, chat, e-mail, etc.)
- The TOS Enterprise is a PERFECT design. Adding personal interpretations fucking ruins it. (Again, they have a cheap plastic toy fetish.)

Also, if you want to pander to their interests, do the following:
- Consistently make TOS art with outdated sounding titles. (They love to think that it is still the 1960's. YEAH BABY YEAH!)
- Avoid posting any of the post-TOS stuff, they get sick of it. (Again, they detest any form of progress.)
- Be faithful to the originals by lowering your standards art-wise and make them look like plastic toys. (Because we all love how mediocrity works!)
- Better yet, do it with fucking models instead of the computer! (Be respectful to the classics by doing them the old goddamned fashioned way!)

Oh god, Star Trek is not a geriatric old-man club, where you have to show certain credentials just to be "in". There was a time when I was indoctrinated by these cretins. But I slowly realized it all amounted to jackshit that made you look like a grumpy old asshat. So I offered a proverbial fuck you and moved on with the times. Sure, I made some enemies and lost some of my watchers but I have no regrets!

But I suppose that's a problem of being a new-genner. The hardest thing about being a Millennial is having to deal with a lot of schtick that everything from my generation will be no-good derivative crap.



Rant over.
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Comments5
Majestic-MSFC's avatar
Fantastic work Jet as always. :)
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